The Rudest Alphabet Soup

Special contest opportunity: For today and today only, you are allowed to compliment me

Reward for the best compliment: Helping me move from Mikiya to Akaya's place this weekend

Honorable mention prize: Helping me move from Mikiya to Akaya's place this weekend

Worst compliment punishment: Helping me move from Mikiya to Akaya's place this weekend

Anyone have anything to say to me? This might be my last day for this earth. Messages for the devil are also acceptable.

1. Space heater
2. Noise machine
3. Good tekken comedy routine
4. Nourishment programming
5. Mecha-morphs into a battering ram in public situations, esp. useful in train stations
6. Evolving cuddle skills
7. Responds to kazoo calls
8. Encyclopedic knowledge of meme culture
9. Attentive to my needs
10. Looks good in an apron
11. Looks good in a skirt
12. Looks good
13. Extremely stupid eyelashes
14. Willing to buy new luggage bags abroad to bring me souvenirs
15. Comes when called and when needed but not called
16. Never asks for his missing pillows because he knows they're never coming back
17. Evolved romance programming: knows my fav delivery places
18. Cute and shy robot. But also not shy
18. Extremely stupid
19. Strong enough to carry me when I'm not willing to walk
20. A robot with Strong Feelings
21. Never asks for the keys to his apartment back even when I call his gate sketchy
22. Very soft touchable hair
23. Poses for pictures. Even bath pictures
24. Cute when angered
25. London
26. Able to build a solid gundam, giving me faith in his skills as a provider
27. Easily scared
28. Easily bribed
29. Aniki and nephew approved robot
30. Willing to star in tennis-centric music videos
31. Willing to spend his millions on the occasional matcha cream
32. Wall-E quality curiosity
33. Can lead
33. Can follow
34. Is super needy
35. But willing to do do almost anything for me, day or night
36. Smarter than most people think. But still, see 18
37. Willing to store my instruments where he keeps his tennis gear
38. The actual worst taste in beer
39. Good with people so I don't have to be
40. Shares many qualities with a certain orange gourd
41. Always accidentally goes shopping for food even when he's going abroad (see 4)
42. Very comfortable sweatshirts
43. Has learned never to ask for his very comfortable sweatshirts back
44. The noises he makes when waking up
45. The grumpiness when I move from Deep Cuddle
46. The look when I touch his face in public
47. Evolving to accept vore jokes with better humor
48. No longer kinkshames my supervillain fantasies
49. Made weak by staring
50. Stupid laugh
51. Willing to try again no matter how many times we get divorced
52. A very great Bed
53. Equipped with certain supplies, and I laugh every time I imagine him buying them
54. Asks.
55. High-functioning stir boy
56. Willing to hit the ground for one of my pancakes
57. Good knowledge of when to be quiet
58. While still being very loud
59. Easy to activate soft overwhelmed face
60. Appreciates my music
61. Perfectly tuned whining voice. Like a cat mimicking a human to get attention -- I have my suspicions
62. Ambitious and engaged in his own life...
63. To the extent that I want to keep watching
64. Enviable recharge time
65. Probably an M
66. Appreciates effort in his direction
67. Always himself, on the street and in front of the press. Didn't hide, didn't hesitate
68. Is a living breathing oxymoron
69. Best kakuna

Thanks for keeping it weird.



(ooc: Yuuji gets some elastic hair bands and a few of his favorite snacks. Inside the little card are three slips of paper that say "get out of mockery free" )

[A hour block of upbeat dance remix fades into Zaizen's voice]

Those of you who aren't drunk in a ditch or asleep, thank you for listening to the one to two Saturday Night Final. Your usual host has fucked off to Hokkaido to see her family, so you're stuck with Wednesday radio for the next hour. I don't particularly feel like slopping out your much beloved top forty -- so listen to me make some calls or change the damn channel.

[Turns on Alice Merton's lash out while he dials]

(ooc: if you want your muse to receive a 2am crank call, comment below with your muse picking up the phone! This won't be a journal post, but a live conversation.

The live conversations, however, will be endured to this journal. So if your muse wants to listen and comment normally during regular hours, please write JOURNAL COMMENT in the subject line)

This is so sad Alexa, play Despacito.

(ooc: Pretend that Akaya is locked in the phone booth, sulking, and trying to get out of it)

Just in case any of my fans were wondering, I'm using that guy Kirihara Akaya for his body.

I've decided. Everyone can have three wishes. Go.

In response to complaints from certain parties regarding my complimenting technique, I've decided to get in some good practice.

Comment on this post to receive a thoughtful compliment from yours truly.

EDIT: You can't compliment me that's illegal

My fingers are ready.

( The challenge )