A wizard's tale

[xyzai]

STEP 1: Put on your human disguise. This involves different levels of work for different people. For me it required some hair smoothing, a half hour of ironing, and a few more clear earrings than I usually wear.

STEP 2: Practice the face that makes your face hurt. Yes. The one you're thinking. That's the one.

STEP 3: Tell lies. Like yes, I love playing the violin. Of course I didn't just learn French from movie quotes. I didn't just watch a youtube video about different kinds of wine on the way over here.

STEP 4: Pretend that you don't feel like Atlas holding up the earth when demonstrating how you can lift a tray of food for a party of five all at once and look good doing it.

STEP 5: Babysitting counts as work experience. Playing guitar in the park counts as work experience. Substituting at the ballet counts as work experience. Dealing with idiots all of my life counts as work experience.

STEP 6: Important. Most important. Know the entire piano score to the Little Mermaid. After the interview, you can play Under the Sea over and over again for the owner's daughter as she practices her tap routine.

Comments

[legally_blond]

How nice. Is this your first paying job?

[xyzai]

In the traditional sense, yes. I've done many one-off events, substituting, and seasonal work.

[legally_blond]

Then, well done, darling. I'll have to come visit you at work.

[xyzai]

What is your stance on tipping?

[shortens]

A "congratulations" seem to be in order?

[xyzai]

Does a congratulations in quotes mean that you're holding it up over my head like a schoolyard bully?

[shortens]

Do I look like a bully to you?

[xyzai]

You're not weak and you're not a hermit, so.

[mimic_yuu]

Did you actually smile?

Who would be those idiots?

Step 6 sounds like you signed up for torture more than being a waiter.

Congrats, now you don't have to be treated by us.

[xyzai]

My soul feels a little bit less for the effort.

You, for example.

Is there a difference?

You still could, for nostalgia.

[mimic_yuu]

You should have applied to Disney land to lose all feeling.

...I think you're mistaken.

So you're an actual masochist.

If you smile I will.

[xyzai]

I could pull off Mary Poppins.

I’m not.

I’m a person who needs cash.

Steep.

[muga]

Oh hey, congrats. Can I get a "Part Of Your World" cover next time I see you?

[xyzai]

Depends — can you afford me?

[muga]

I'll buy you an anpan.

[xyzai]

Done.

[knuckling]

G A I N S

bring fancy food





also congrats

[xyzai]

A snail. For you.

Thanks.

[knuckling]

you joke but i will still eat it.

[uzauza]

congratulations on the job, hikaru! i had french lessons in school, so if you need some help i can try? it is not that great but i understand the very simple rules, at least.

[xyzai]

I do fine with French, but I’m more self-taught and it’s not as practiced as my English. A conversation partner would be good.

[ever_yanagi]

Don't eat all the sweets.

[xyzai]

I only get one item per shift.

[hiro_shi]

Congratulations on your job, Zaizen-kun! If I may, learning how to play "Mary had a Little Lamb" would be a simple addition to your repertoire in case your employer catches onto you playing Little Mermaid on repeat.

[xyzai]

Yippee. More remedial piano, just what I need.