xyzai | A wizard's tale

STEP 1: Put on your human disguise. This involves different levels of work for different people. For me it required some hair smoothing, a half hour of ironing, and a few more clear earrings than I usually wear.

STEP 2: Practice the face that makes your face hurt. Yes. The one you're thinking. That's the one.

STEP 3: Tell lies. Like yes, I love playing the violin. Of course I didn't just learn French from movie quotes. I didn't just watch a youtube video about different kinds of wine on the way over here.

STEP 4: Pretend that you don't feel like Atlas holding up the earth when demonstrating how you can lift a tray of food for a party of five all at once and look good doing it.

STEP 5: Babysitting counts as work experience. Playing guitar in the park counts as work experience. Substituting at the ballet counts as work experience. Dealing with idiots all of my life counts as work experience.

STEP 6: Important. Most important. Know the entire piano score to the Little Mermaid. After the interview, you can play Under the Sea over and over again for the owner's daughter as she practices her tap routine.